What to do if you have developmental concerns

Watching your little bub grow and develop is one of the true joys of becoming a parent. But what happens when your child’s development is not happening in the way you were expecting?

One of the hardest things to figure out is when to be concerned. Then the question often becomes “how worried should I be?” or “what do I do now?”.

‍As parents or caregivers, it seems as though worrying is part of the job, even when perhaps what is happening in front of us is exactly what a child should be doing at their young age or stage. So how do we know that this is a situation that is different, or important enough to start talking to others about, or act on in some way? Here, an ordered, or “O.R.D.A.D.” approach may help. O.R.D.A.D. stands for “Observe”, “Record”, “Discover”, “Ask”, and “Do”. Let’s now dive into each of these steps in detail. 
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Observe

When thinking about or observing your child’s development and behaviour, you may have realised that, more often than not, children do the strangest things! Yes, this is the case for all bubs, toddlers, pre-schoolers and school-aged children. So importantly, figuring out whether what you are seeing, hearing or experiencing is a “one-off”, or something happening more often, is an important thing to do before deciding on next steps. The exception is an emergency, or sudden change in your child’s alertness, breathing, colour or other signs of wellbeing. Then, you should call emergency services without delay. 

In all other situations, it is time to tune into all of your senses for this important observation stage. What are you seeing? What are you hearing? When is it occurring? Does this feel OK to you at this stage, or is something inside you telling you “this isn’t usual or working well for my child”. Ask yourself, have I observed this before? If this is new, is it important enough to raise or act on now, or should I see if it happens tomorrow, and next week? Parents are typically great observers, reporters and providers around their child’s needs. You know your child best, so observe, observe again if needed, then as required, record, discover, ask and do.  

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Record

Recording your observations, thoughts, feelings and experiences is an important next step. This is particularly important when you are unsure about what is happening and what it may mean. There are lots of different ways to do this. You could:

• Write down your observations or concerns in a journal, on a notepad, or in the notes function on your preferred device
• Audio or video record what is happening with your preferred device, and ensure these recordings are stored somewhere safe and easily accessible e.g. for when you discuss your observations with others or see a relevant service provider
• Use relevant parts of your child’s health record to jot down your concerns
• Download the THRIVARY app which has a tool for adding notes, tracking milestones and creating a record of your child's journey.
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Discover

If you are reading this via the THRIVARY app, I suspect you would be aware by now that there is a wealth of child development information on this app, and indeed in the world around us, particularly on the world wide web! Have you looked at a developmental milestones information in this app? Or viewed a resource in relation to thinking more about what is expected at your child’s age and stage? What did it say? Are you looking at, or listening to, other resources with a focus on child development? Perhaps you are reading books or accessing websites that may be could be useful when figuring out what to do next? 

Whilst you may have been reading and discovering, you might have noticed conflicting information, or advice that seems confusing.  It is generally quite difficult to know how trustworthy an information source is. That is why the Thrivary App was developed in the first place, so you could have a single, trustworthy, and evidence-based reference for all things related to child development! In addition to this app, here are some resources, based on developmental science, that you may find helpful at this stage:

• Raising Chidren’s Network
• Learn the Signs Act Early
• SNAICC - the national voice for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Children
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Ask

The most important thing to understand about child development and wellbeing is that there is no such thing as a bad question! If you notice something your child is doing, or not doing, and are not sure about what this may mean at their age or stage, then more information is just what you might need right now. So ask away! 

Often what we do is ask someone we trust, that is close to us for their views. That may be an ideal first step to take. It is important to note here that each individual is likely to have different knowledge, opinions, and experiences relating to raising or supporting children and their development. So who should we chat to? Who may help us understand more about our observations and discoveries, particularly when there may be mixed messages about what to do next? Here are some important people to consider talking to:
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1. If your child is regularly cared for by other adults e.g. family members, friends, education providers, family day care providers etc, it can be very useful to check in with them and see what their observations or opinions may be. It is always useful to know if a behaviour or observation is happening both with and without you present, and/or in settings outside of the home. 
2. Chat to your maternal and child health nurse, or local child health service, if this is a service you have access to. They are typically a great resource when it comes to child development and wellbeing. 
3. Make an appointment with your G.P. to discuss your observations, discoveries and concerns. 
4. You may already have additional health professionals supporting you, your child, or your child’s older siblings such as speech pathologists, physiotherapists, occupational therapists, psychologists, paediatricians, dieticians, social workers or others. These can be wonderful people to chat with about your observations and discoveries, even if it is not their usual area of expertise. Often, these health professionals work alongside, or directly with individuals with the area of expertise that you need. They may have some important general child development knowledge and experiences that you can draw on. This is likely to support you when considering your next steps. 

Do

The final step is, of course, “Do”. By now you have recorded important observations and stored them in a safe and accessible place. You have discovered information from trustworthy resources to help you make sense of what you are seeing, hearing or feeling. You have asked questions and got responses from individuals who you trust, who may know your child, or who may have some additional child development expertise. Perhaps you spoke to someone just so you could be directed to the next person, place, or service that can help. 

Now it is your turn to do the next steps. This may take time, and extra support, and that’s OK.  It can be important in the meantime to feel as though you are doing what you can to help your child develop in the best possible way. One of the things to do is to ensure your child’s hearing and vision have been checked. Find out about local services in your area that can support you with these important initial checks. 

If you have contacted the person, place or service that has been suggested as a support for you or your child, and you or your child have been placed on a waiting list, please see the article entitled ”what to do when waiting on a waiting list”.

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Final Thoughts

It can be confusing and overwhelming when, as a parent or caregiver, we first identify that our child’s development may be different from what we were expecting. It is hard to speak out at times when we realise we need more support, advice or information in a particular area. Please remember you are not alone. If you need further support for yourself, take the time to seek this out (parent support links here?).  

Finally, remember to apply an “O.R.D.A.D” approach during these first stages of observing, understanding and acting on your child’s emerging needs. This will help you in your decision-making around the best ways forward you, your child and your family.